Conflicts in relationships can arise for the smallest of reasons, but there’s a simple way to avoid hurting a partner emotionally. Find out how to deal with arguments in a relationship, by looking within.
Do you end up arguing with your lover for the smallest of reasons?
It may be no one’s fault or both your faults.
But you really need to understand that arguments in a relationship doesn’t make one of you win, but actually makes both of you lose in love.
If you really want to know how to deal with arguments in a relationship, you need to look right into the problem.
Each couple is unique, and each partner has their own way of arguing in a relationship.
Find out what kind of a “arguer” you are, and we’ll show you how you can make small changes and have a happier relationship, with few conflicts and fewer painful moments.
THE TOUCHE MATE
If you’re this sort of a fighter, you are completely in control. Whoa! And you’re the one making your partner lose their cool (all the time) by hitting your mate’s exact nerve point and they enter into a shivering fit, a.k.a. the angry mode.
If your partner is not the shivering type, then they’re probably the ones that throw back tantrums. Well, you know your partner best. So stay off the touché issues and stop trying to make them stay on guard each time they’re around you.
How to deal with it
If you know what would put your partner on guard, then stay a mile away from their sensitive issues and refrain from using those tactics. It would slowly deteriorate your relationship if all you do is rant about their irritable bowel syndrome or how they crashed the car years ago. You love your partner, so why would you want to take them to a level of hurt and anger.
The spider dude taught you this one, with great power comes great responsibility. We’re teaching you this one, with great love comes great respect. So hold your breath the next time you decide to tug a sensitive chord.
This kind of an “larguer” starts off with a waiting game. You’re waiting for your mate, who was supposed to be there a good hour ago. You think your mate doesn’t respect you and is taking you for granted. And in steps your mate, late, flustered and in haste. Your partner smiles at you. You cold shoulder that. A hug comes on its way towards you. You sidestep it.
The conversation, we mean, the argument begins. You missed an appointment with your beautician or an hour out with your pals, or perhaps a movie.
The apologies come on its way. Your cold shoulder is way too cold for the apologies to penetrate through. And what happens next, we all know the story. Before any explanations come through, you start your lashing.
How to deal with it
Before your mate could even rationalize, you’re all out with the words game. “You do this all the time…”, “I missed my appointment…” and more blah and then, blah again. And then, out of nowhere, your ride starts drifting. “You haven’t done the dishes…”, “You cheated on me three years ago…”, and more prehistoric blah and blah. And then, it goes on and on. You start from one topic and drift faster than one could imagine.
By the end of it all, you’re both sulking and huffy. And who won? Heck, does it even matter anymore. You hate each other. So why hit the drift in the first place?
THE MIND READER
We’re not bungling with soothsayers, we’re messing on psycho turf here. Ever come home to say “hi” to your matey-sweetie, and imagine a little roll of the eye?
Or remember the last time you wanted to make a Chocolate Brule but ended up making a terrible inedible version of the Mississippi Mud Pie? Did you hear that snigger behind your back, or that “that’s gross” look on your sweetheart’s face? Before you feel all unappreciated and go on a rampage trying to knock your sweetheart’s face with a frying pan, hold your breath. Count to ten.
How to deal with it
Sometimes, you create it. If you find yourself getting all flustered up over a ‘roll of the eyes’, wait a minute before you pop that eye out.
If you feel hurt by something that your mate’s done, just mention it right then. “Honey, did you just roll your eyes at me? Please don’t do that, it hurts me”. And at times, you might just be imagining your mate’s making funny faces behind your back.
All of us will invariably find ourselves in at least one of these types, and all of us use these petty tactics to win an argument with our partner.
But really, if you can deal with arguments in a relationship and avoid the conflict in the first place, wouldn’t the world and your relationship be a better place to be in?
It’s easy to start an argument, but no one really likes the pain or knows the end. Not you, and not your partner. So now that you know how to deal with arguments in a relationship, try to play nice!