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We’re Engaged But I Dont Love Him


I’m currently engaged to a guy who I don’t trust ,I feel he cheats on me due to past experience between us. Most times I don’t feel he loves me. I feel more or less like he’s just forcing himself in the relationship. Communication is poor ,though he has some good parts but to me his bad part is more. I’ve broken up with him once but he came begging and due to the fact that I didn’t meet anybody serious then I went back to him. Our families know each other and we’ve picked a date for next year (2015) for marriage but i’m just not happy, because I don’t think he really loves me, he just wants to get married out of necessity. He has so many female friends around him.while I have none both male n female. I just want to meet people maybe with that I can quit the relationship. I’m 27 and can’t quit just like that because of fear of unknown and societal pressure.
Further Revelation 2 Weeks later: My fiance also delights in castigating and “bad-mouthing” me most times to people at any slightest mistake. He thinks I make the worst thing, anytime he does this he feels happy when people are against me. Meanwhile if he does something bad he quickly begs me not to tell anyone especially my family and i yield to his plea and cover all his misdeeds but once i’m the one at fault he runs out and portrays me bad even to his family. The most recent one which is very painful and I don’t even know how to get past, he presently has two of his siblings and a friend living in his house. We plan to marry next year and we have agreed that no family would stay with us. Lately, he told me that since he’s the first son that I don’t have a choice, that his younger brother has to stay with us. I rejected this and said even if his family will stay with us at least we should have 6months after marriage to know ourselves properly. He will pick quarrel and call me all sorts and which I do respond back 2 due to anger. I objected to his family staying with us due to the fact that I realised anytime my fiance is with his family he starts behaving like a monster towards me. So this Xmas he’s parents came over to spend time at his place and one thing led to the other, we had a little quarrel due to the fact I told him to inform his younger brother to give us privacy in his room when i’m around because he usually comes into his room to play video games. My fiancé flared up and started shouting that I if don’t want his family with him den I should leave right in my presence he told his father I wasn’t happy that he (the father) was around that in fact I hate his family and all different nonsense in my presence and in d presence of his whole family. The father settled it with  wisdom. Later that night my boyfriend had to now start begging me in d room dat I should forget and not let my family know about all that happened that night. Would have even let it go but he does things like this every time in front of people even my family and he has done worse things to me but he begs I shouldn’t let any one hear. I’m just deeply hurt don’t know what to do or not do. Please i need an advice, because I want to involve my own family too in the matter. Thank You.


One Comment

  1. My dear poster, the best option is for u to weigh your happiness, it's more important, obviously you're not happy in this relationship I don't see why you're still in it. Run as fast as your legs can carry you if you have d courage, in fact if u don't have d courage build it biko, being 27 and single is no crime, there are older single ladies, forget societal pressure and always have this at d back of your mind, marriage is a forever journey, u don't wanna embark on it being unhappy, be courageous o. Hmm, imagine ds kinda life for d rest of your life if u wanna live it, stay in d relationship, if u want something better, get out of the relationship, there's someone out dr much better, mature and we'll mannered, someone who deserves you. If you think u deserve better, then go for better my dear, in short best awaits you… all da best o…

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