Still Have Feelings For My Ex.

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Hi.. My name is blessing. Here is my story… I met and started dating the 1st guy in 2010 while we were in d university(he’s 26 and I’m 28 now)..he was and still very caring..but his calmness even when I do something he doesn’t like sometimes scares the shit out of me. We dated for about 2 years before we started having issue. First, because of his Ex who called to insult me twice and then because of the chats he was having with girls on his phone. I stopped trusting him and started losing interest because I had 2 previous relationships that didn’t end well because of infidelity and trust issues, plus he has hit me twice when we argued and later apologised. Fast forward to 2013,I met the other guy, we became friends but he asked me out in 2014. Eventually,I and the first guy decided to end things in early 2014. I started seeing the 2nd guy but noticed he’s not as caring as the first guy. Meanwhile I and d 1st guy kept in touch while we were seeing different people. Within me, I kept comparing both of them, because it looked like the second guy wasn’t the emotional type and me being emotional didn’t go well with him. I and the 1st guy hung out a few times after the break up and decided to give it another trial as he was also having issues with his girl. I stopped seeing d second guy. But since we got back together,my heart has not been with him..I kept thinking about the second guy. And now the other guy is serious about me. He’s the one I love,but I don’t know how to end things with the first guy I’v been wit for 4years. I know I sound confused because I actually am..but I know where my heart belongs. I just don’t know how to end things with the first guy because I don’t want to hurt him. Please help.

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