Men can be very supportive and caring for the women they truly love. They would pull out all the stops for their woman’s happiness, and make sacrifices when needed. Chances are that if he truly is the man for you, he would meet most of your expectations. But there are certain boundaries that should not be crossed, and certain things that no woman should ever ask of her man. So, as far as expectations go, here are some that a woman simply shouldn’t have of her man.
1. Choose between you and his mom
The cardinal rule. Ladies, stop doing it. She is the woman who has raised him, taken great pains in order to make him the man he is today. She deserves the respect he accords her with. You are the woman he wants to spend his life with. He chose you. That is of great significance. Asking him to choose one over the other is a source of great distress for your man. If you and she don’t get on too well, then endeavour to avoid situations that would lead to conflicts, or seek to ignore aspects of her that never cease to pique you.
2. Give up his passions/ interests
Men and women both deserve to have interests/passions separate from their relationship. It is healthy for your relationship to set aside some alone time every now and then during which you are free to pursue your interests. If your man wishes to settle down and watch the game, then don’t begrudge him that. If he enjoys an hour or two of tennis, then let him have it without an argument. As long as his pursuit of his own passions does not affect your relationship and his commitments to you, then there is no harm in it.
3. Have a photographic memory
Men are from Mars, women are from Venus. They are, thus, different. Women tend to remember every single detail they deem significant, whereas men do not. You may remember what you two wore on a particular special night, he may not.
So, you met for the very first time on a starry night of April the 6th. But questioning him about it and subsequently hearing of his lack of accurate recollection of the night, would lead only to disappointment on your part. Men’s brains are wired differently to women’s, and it is impractical to expect them to recall each detail with vivid clarity. If it is that significant to you, tell him ahead of time, and save yourself unnecessary disappointment.
4. Stop seeing his buddies
You know how sometimes you need a break from everything, and you call your girls up and meet up for a cocktail the Carrie Bradshaw way? Well, often he may feel the need to connect with his friends too. And there is nothing wrong with that. It does not mean that he loves you any less, or that he is frustrated with you or your relationship. You’ve got your girlfriends, he’s got his buddies.
5. Listen to you like your girlfriend would
Men are wired to solve problems. Give a man a problem, and he would seek to find a solution for it. Often, when you tell your man your problems, he may respond with solutions, when in fact what you are looking for is not a solution, but just someone to listen to them. Women bond over conversations like these. Men don’t understand that. They don’t see the point of discussing problems needlessly and incessantly. If you want someone to simply listen to you complain, have a heart to heart with one of your girls.
6. To never notice another woman
If someone is good looking, he/she instantly appeals to the eye. It isn’t unusual, neither is it wrong, for a man to look at another woman. In fact, it isn’t even something consciously done. Just because he spared another woman a glance does not mean he wishes to pursue it beyond that. As long as he isn’t actively flirting and you don’t see his game face anywhere near, and it is just a passing glance, then there is no harm in it.
7. To apologise each time you argue
Arguments are a part of every relationship. But holding grudges, refusing to apologise, and expecting him to be the bigger person each time you two argue is rather juvenile behaviour on your part. Apologising does not indicate you don’t respect yourself, neither is it a way of getting someone to stop nagging at you. No matter how your argument began, you must have played at least small part in perpetuating it further. And you need to apologise for that. Admit when you are wrong, and take responsibility for your actions by apologising.
8. To share all of your interests
If you have that ability to spend hours window shopping (or shopping, for that matter) like most women, then there is nothing seriously wrong with that. Most women love shopping. But expecting him to be dragged about with you as you flit from store to store is rather unfair.
If it is chick flicks you love, then by all means, watch them. If `The Notebook` is your all time favourite and it is important to you that you two watch it together, then he may agree to it. But don’t expect your man to sit through every romcom you so joyfully watch. He doesn’t ask you to sit through all his games.
9. To be a different man
One of the primary reasons you fell in love with him is for the person he is. If you ever feel a desire to change him, then try to recall what drew you to him in the first place. You accepted him then, you should be able to accept him now. I distinctly recall reading a book sometime in the past that said that change for men ends at potty training. Now, although this statement lends a lightheartedness to the entire idea and is not to be taken literally, it still teaches us something valuable. Men don`t wish to be changed. And it is unfair to ask him to alter himself and become another person because you wish it. Accept him for who he is.
Credit: Yousra Nasir
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