I grew up with my elder brother. I lost my parents 15years ago. Life wasn’t a bed of roses until I met this man when I had an accommodation problem. My landlord had evicted all of us with the excuse that he wants to renovate the house, with the rush and everything I was duped. I was so devastated because I had just 3days left to move out.
I saw him while returning from lectures one afternoon, he appeared nice and friendly. He noticed I wasn’t myself when he offered to drop me, he asked what the problem was so I told him because I really needed help. He told me that he’s a Lawyer and that I could move in with him since he stays alone till I have a place of my own to avoid embarrassment.
To say the truth,I didn’t hesitate at all as he was my last hope. He gave me his bq (boys quarters) to stay. I was able to raise some money in a couple of months for a place. I told him about it because I didn’t want to fall into wrong hands again since he had told me that he’s into property business. To my utmost surprise, he refused the idea of me moving out saying I could stay there till I’m done with school as he wasn’t giving me any problem.
I refused at first but he insisted so I agreed. To cut the whole story short, we started dating three months after. During my stay there, I never saw him with any girl and he always ask me to prepare food for him on weekends or if he’s got visitors. He’s very nice and caring.
He proposed six months later, took me to his village, introduced me to his family and all. He told me about his ex before he proposed. He also told me that he has a set of twin from her but didn’t promise her marriage. The pregnancy came while they were dating, he had told the girl that he wasn’t ready for marriage still she insisted on keeping the pregnancy.
I took in for him last year, I thought on hearing the news he’ll come in and see my people but the reverse was the case. My siblings are not happy with me that I got pregnant and dropped out of school because of a man. He kept giving excuses till I delivered,we have a 9 months old baby girl. He loves his baby a lot but each time I bring up the issue of marriage he’ll get upset or tell me he’s not ready yet.
He’s refused to make love to me since I delivered saying a nursing mother do not have sex. My friends keep telling me that they see him with girls and I see lots of nasty text messages on his phone. He denies when I asked and deletes them immediately. My fear now is that I didn’t complete my education because my pregnancy came with lots of complication so the doctor advised I avoid stress as it could be harmful to the baby.
He doesn’t allow me to go out, he’s very over-protective, very jealous, even to visit my friends is a problem. He even goes as far as buying my toiletries, so I don’t just go out. He employed a driver that takes myself and the baby to the hospital for her monthly vaccines. Food stuffs is being bought by the maid.
He doesn’t even look at me twice. We don’t even sleep together as I sleep with baby while he sleeps alone. He doesn’t find me attractive anymore because I’ve put on lots of weight or is he in love with someone else?. I feel so sad, lonely and confused right now.
I do not know what he really wants from me again, there’s no intimacy between us again. I used to love him a lot but now I don’t know what I feel for him anymore. Please I really need your advice because I’m losing my self-esteem. I live like a prisoner in this house. I can’t go anywhere alone,no privacy at all. If I dare leave the house alone, he will not speak to me for weeks and he finds it difficult to apologise when he wrongs me.
Is this love?. He gives me all the material things I need, but I’m dying of loneliness inside. Since We’re not married, I believe having an affair isn’t a sin? I forgot to mention our age, he’s 40yrs and I’m just 23yrs. Please I need your help urgently.
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