It’s not shameful to admit when you’re not ready to see someone, it could be because of a number of reasons and past-experiences. We all like the idea of being with someone, spending those memorable moments with someone, moving on in life with someone by our side, but not all of us are ready to commit. This article is going to talk about certain conditions, certain states of mind when people should not date and take time out for themselves to make themselves better.
It happens to the best of us. Happened with me, happened with a lot of my friends. It’s a difficult phase but the first step is to acknowledge it. Here are 8 reasons why you don’t need to be in a relationship right now. Let’s begin:
1. You recently came out of a relationship
This is the first and most important one of them all. If you just recently came out from a relationship, you need to give yourself some time. A lot of damage had been done and it takes months to properly heal yourself and not fall back into those dark memories and the sorrows of loss that come with them. Take time out for yourself, be with family, hang out with friends. Don’t jump the relationship wagon so soon, you won’t be able to give your 100% to someone and that won’t be fair to them at all. Only when you completely love yourself again is when you can finally date someone with everything you’ve got.
I was with someone like this once. The memories of her past relationship still kept haunting her and no matter how hard I tried, it didn’t work out in the end. Don’t be that person to someone, don’t give them a trauma because of your past. Save your energy and use it when you’re ready.
2. You’re going through a tough career phase
As I said, be content with yourself and your life before you start seeing someone. A lot of us have career goals that we want to accomplish or at least get close to accomplishing before we share our lives with someone new. It’s a different story altogether for people who are in relationships, relationships where the two help each other in career goals, but it’s a completely different story when you’re single. Make sure you come out of your tough career phase before you start seeing someone. Your mind would be so caught up in work and the stresses that come with it that you won’t be properly able to give your partner the attention and love they need.
3. You’re too busy for someone
This is an additional point to my previous point. If you think you’re someone who’s “too busy” in your life, make sure you’re not when you start seeing someone. When it comes to love and relationships, you just can’t tell someone you don’t have the time to see them or talk to them because you’re too busy with work or something else, that is more hurtful than most things in a relationship. Set your life straight, manage your time properly and be with someone when you’re definitive about giving time to them without any excuses. We are all busy in our lives, it’s all about priorities.
4. You’re not ready to settle down as yet
A lot of people are scared of commitments. Relationships require a lot of work, no relationship has worked out unless both people work hard enough on it or for it. It’s not easy being in love, they show it very differently in movies but the realities are completely different. When you start going out with someone, there are a lot of things that happen along with it. A lot of personal changes, a lot of lifestyle changes, a lot of sacrifice, I’m not saying it’s not good for you but some of you may not be comfortable with those things, so make sure you’re ready to commit before you actually commit.
5. Your past still haunts you
This one is very personal to me because I had to fight a lot of battles within myself to finally come out of my past. As you all know, I’ve had a rough past, a lot of dark memories were a major part of my life even after years of those things happening. I had to struggle to come out of that dark phase, and I tried staying single in that phase because I just didn’t want to burden someone with my traumatic past. When I tell you guys to “love yourself” before loving someone else, this is what I mean. Live with no regrets, get rid of your fears and fight your own battles before you involve someone in your life.
6. You’re not mature enough
Maturity goes a long way and takes a long time to build. I’m not talking about age here, I’ve seen people who are 30 years old but are still immature about a lot of things. Elements like jealousy, insecurity etc. are the things you bring to the table when you’re immature. I used to be immature once, I used to be an insecure person and that reflected pretty badly on my relationship. So I made sure she knew about my immaturity and we worked on it together.
7. You’re forcing yourself
If you feel like you’re forcing yourself into a relationship or for a relationship, you definitely don’t need to be in that relationship. We all have that gut feeling when we completely love someone and when we feel the love coming in. When you’re not completely sure, that uncertain feeling leads to rushing into a relationship or forcing yourself into one, which will only lead to bad things because your heart wasn’t completely in it to begin with.
8. You don’t like being “single”
Being in a relationship merely for the label that comes with it is wrong, very wrong. You can’t be in a relationship simply because you don’t like being single or because everyone around you seems to be having the time of their lives with someone while you’re sitting alone. There’s nothing wrong about being single, you shouldn’t need a relationship just for the heck of it or just to show it off to people that you’re not single anymore. Be single for as long as you want, and be committed to someone when you feel it, it’ll come naturally.
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