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CRYING OVER SPILT MILK.


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I met this guy when we were in school. We were not in the same department but we had few classes together. The first time he showed interest in me, we were in our second year. He would look into my eyes in the class and anytime our eyes interlocks, we would both smile. This went on almost all the semester.

Eventually, he told me he loves me and wants me to be his girlfriend but I said no instantly because he didn’t use to dress well. Later, he became my personal tutor for the class and we got closer. He asked me out again and I said no. Although, he had already stepped up his dressing game a little bit but he still had no “swag” and no car.

All my friends’ boyfriends drove the finest cars on campus and so I couldn’t afford to have a boyfriend that didn’t have any car at all. I finally had my first boyfriend in my third year and of course, he was one of the big boys on campus as I was a big girl too. But this other guy didn’t give up. My friends mocked him in public.

I blocked him on Facebook and other social media yet he still came around to look for me. Later, he stopped coming. In my final year, my boyfriend graduated and broke up with me for no reason. The heartbreak was so strong that I cried for days.

At that time, I didn’t even know the whereabouts of the other guy as I had deleted his number and we were not in the same department. I tried to add him on Facebook but he didn’t confirm it. I guess he didn’t see it. I later deleted the friend request. On convocation day, I saw him and we chatted for hours.

We both had Second Class Upper. Although, his was higher than mine. He talked about the toasting days and laughed about how my friends used him to KPA (mocked him). By the way, my friends didn’t graduate. There were four of us that used to roll together but I was the only one that graduated with our set.

I waited patiently for this guy to ask me out again but he didn’t but we talked everyday on the phone for months until we went for NYSC. We both worked our NYSC to Ogun State as it is close to Lagos. I knew someone who could do it so I helped with his too. In camp, we were pretty close but nothing romantic.

I gave him all the body language but he didn’t bulge and so we stopped walking together. By the second week, he was already walking with one babe that finished from a private university. I thought I was hot but the girl is way hotter and finer. I was jealous. I asked him who the girl was and he said they were just friends.

After camp, we were all posted to our PPAs and I didn’t see him or communicate with him except that we added each other again on social media. Towards the end of NYSC, his relationship status changed to “in a relationship”. The day I saw it, “I fell off the chair”. I was so shocked. I didn’t get myself for the next 10 minutes.

I went to my room and cried for hours. I called him the next day and asked for a lunch over the weekend. He agreed but we kept postponing it for months until NYSC ended. On POP day, I saw him but we didn’t talk because his girlfriend was all over him. After our NYSC, we were able to hangout on the Island where he now has a consulting job.

I am working in a bank on the mainland. The day of our meeting was a public holiday so we talked at length. I was always his confidant since our University days but I didn’t really tell him much about myself. He told me about his Dad’s sickness back then and how it affected his family financially. 

Now, his Dad is no more and he wants to be the man for his Mom as he is the only male child. We talked about his girlfriend and he told me she has gone to the UK for her Master’s and that his Mom approves of her. When he asked about my relationship status, I lied out of shame.

I told him that my boyfriend works for an oil company. He was very happy and asked to see his picture and get his phone number. He was even eager to meet my “non-existing boyfriend”. I had to lie again that the guy was a private person and that I didn’t have any of his pictures on my phone.

When I got home, I cried like never before. This guy has a good heart and I know it but I said no because he didn’t meet my friend’s standard and those friends are nowhere to be found today. I have even grown apart from my friends to the extent that I don’t even know where they are now.

This is a guy that spent several months chasing me and professing love at any given chance. To be honest, he was courageous because he wasn’t a big boy then and I was a big girl. And the whole big girl thing was fake life sef – we all depend on money from home. I feel so empty. The chemistry between us was awesome.

We could talk about nothing for hours on phone. We could just bring up any topic and go on and on. I tried to steer clear of anything that would bring back the memories but that didn’t work. I can’t just get him off my mind. I don’t know what to do. Should I open up to him that I do not have any boyfriend and try to get back into his life since his girlfriend is away in the UK? I’m not desperate.

I’m just in love. I don’t think it’s fair for me to suffer for a decision I made at 19. I love this guy dearly. I’m losing my mind. I don’t know what to do. I need advice.

Thanks


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